As the final installment of this origin-story trilogy regarding the smash hit Smash Hits cannabis strain – UFJoe – which is quickly becoming our most popular exclusive strains only found at Canna Provisions, we have sung of Joe Welch’s close encounters with unexplained things (and large ships and maybe mind control).
But let’s not get lost from what is at the core of all this. Namely: Fantastic Berkshires grown cannabis, from the best dispensary in Western Massachusetts, and the closest dispensary near New York City for recreational weed (our shop is about 2.5hrs from Manhattan and off the first exit into MA when coming from New York State on the Mass Pike/I-90 and NY Thruway).
Now that such searchable phrases are out of the way, we turn to this closing chapter of the birth of UFJoe, wherein Johnny Greenfingaz – Canna Provisions Grow Operations honcho working in tandem with Chemdog and our entire talented cultivation team in Sheffield MA where Smash Hits cannabis is grown – reveals the shadowy origins of the new standout among an already stellar lineup of exotic genetics and classic Chemdog strains only found on the legal market at Canna Provisions. You can preorder or shop for them online at our Lee and Holyoke stores.
First, just have a look at Johnny:
And if you were you ask him what what kind of wisdom he can impart from bringing this special lady to life, you may be surprised at the answer:
This is the first time I have ever smoked this phenotype exactly, as it took so long to get the seeds, bring it to life on the East Coast. This is really the first time something like this has ever been in Massachusetts, and this cut has never been outside of California.
I hoped to one day get a cut of it because I wanted to bring it to the world. But it was solely for the underground legacy market in San Francisco, from 30-year legacy market growers on the West Coast. I had the pleasure of getting to know these guys simply through other cannabis networking, and somewhere along the way I got my hands on a cut of one of the strains I had fallen in love with. The exact one I saw a future with.
You have to understand though, they don’t release cuts of this one particular strain to anyone, particularly in the San Francisco market (you couldn’t even get this strain in LA at the time). But they allowed me to make three cuts for my own personal stash while still on the West Coast, or, on the condition anything I cultivated from it wouldn’t be anything like the original strain, I had the okay to bring something special to the East Coast legal market.
So I did a phenotype hunt with several cycles, and the brainchild of those runs is something brand new and completely special to Canna Provisions: UFJoe.
What makes it stand out is it has the sting of Gelato and the sweet of Grandaddy Purp, which smacks your nose immediately when you walk in the garden in Sheffield. That and Massmosa basically battle for smell dominance in any room they are in. It’s a dark green lady with some purple tints that sparkle, so that dominant floral punch of old-school East Coast gas with West Coast sweet makes it a treat to grow. And smoke. It’s sort of like eating a piece of candy in the presence of a skunk. Very over the top flavor, big on laughs and then usually after the initial high stretches on it can be big fuel for munchies.
As a stable strain to consistently bring to the market it’s relatively quick – seven to eight weeks – and it’s pretty easy to trim. Essentially it checks all the commercial viability boxes. It’s even one of those strains that bad bugs just stay away from. So in a way it’s lonely in the grow – it’s there, it flourishes, and it’s gone in two months – but it produces such wonderful characteristics from the source genetics that lets the best qualities of West Coast sweet and East Coast gas shine. It’s very unique in that way, and I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I do. This one’s really special.
ABOUT UFJoe THE STRAIN
Named in part for one of Canna Provisions staffers’ long history with close encounters with UFOs (feel free to ask him about it if you meet him), with this strain in his (or your) pocket those skywatching sessions for intelligent life elsewhere just got a whole lot better with Smash Hits, exclusive to Canna Provisions in Massachusetts. The uber-berry and citrus notes from the Grandaddy Purp and Melanade parent strain genetics, which along with the Gelato cross presents a creamy sweetness to the entire body-relaxing flower, the dense buds of this top shelf stunner break apart for a floral tsunami. In short: expect a custom cross that can bring you to the outer realms of innerspace, even if that innerspace is the place where munchies are born.
FAMILY HISTORY: Granddaddy Purp x Melanade x Gelato
PALATE: Rich tropical berries, classic Granddaddy Purp notes, and crisp lemon-sour candy.
EFFECT: Social, clear minded and supreme body relaxation without couchlock. Expect snacking fury.
“My first thought opening up this eighth package was “wow!” The smell was amazing, very berry and sweet, the 3.5 grams looked more like 4.5-5 grams – the buds were still pretty dense for having a few different nugs in there. Grinding it up showed a lot of the purple tones to the plant, which is what I love to see. The high was great! Onset was not very speedy, at first I was like “damn you UFJOE!” But then about 10-15 minutes later I was laughing way too much at a game show that probably isn’t even that funny. My mind was pretty clear and my body was the most relaxed I’ve been in a long time. Wasn’t relaxed to the point of couchlock, I was still finding myself in the kitchen looking for some snacks.” – Rhiannon B.
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About Canna Provisions
Canna Provisions is the next generation of cannabis dispensary focusing on a unique and thoughtful customer experience. We are here to guide you and towards the right provisions to fit your lifestyle, and provide knowledgeable support every step of the way. Founded by established industry pioneers with extensive cultivation, regulation and consumer sales experience, Canna Provisions stores provide a broad range of top-grade craft cannabis products that are locally sourced and thoughtfully produced. Life is a journey. No matter the path, trust Canna Provisions to better your journey. To learn more, visit CannaProvisionsGroup.com. Join us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
Please Consume Responsibly. This product may cause impairment and may be habit forming. For use only by adults 21 years of age or older. Keep out of the reach of children.
This product has not been analyzed or approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). This is limited information on the side effects of using this product, and there may be associated health risks. Marijuana used during pregnancy and breast-feeding may pose potential harms. It is against the law to drive or operate machinery when under the influence of this product. KEEP THIS PRODUCT AWAY FROM CHILDREN. There may be health risks associated with consumption of this product. Marijuana can impair concentration, coordination, and judgement. The effects of Edibles may be delayed by two hours or more. In case of accidental ingestion, contact poison control hotline 1-800-222-1222 or 9-1-1. This product may be illegal outside of MA.